That’s something that happens when you play around! It’s completely human to misjudge, and it’s completely human to react to that error. Perhaps you could discuss it with him using a detached approach along these lines—these things happen! It doesn’t make him a bad person or anything close to a rapist. It just makes him someone who said something that triggered you. A boundary that previously wasn’t visible now is.
- Perhaps you could discuss it with him using a detached approach along these lines—these things happen!
- But what does the Harris’ “coconut tree” quote mean, and why has it become a meme?
- I have felt this way hooking up in the past, which makes some sense because being alone with a stranger is probably inherently awkward, but even with my spouse, whom I love deeply, I can’t seem to feel relaxed.
- It’s completely human to misjudge, and it’s completely human to react to that error.
- A boundary that previously wasn’t visible now is.
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This afternoon, though, we were going for round two, and we were getting into it and I wanted to slow things down a bit so I was teasing him and not letting him enter me. We were playfully doing this and sort of teasing each other, and I put my knees around his hips to keep him from entering me, and he said, “You think you can stop me from getting in? ” as a joke, but it was like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over me. He would never, ever do anything without my consent, and I know that, but the comment, while said jokingly, took my mind to a very dark place (I have a generalized anxiety disorder). I was inspired to write in by a recent question about aftercare. I am pretty vanilla, but I relate to the previous question asker’s distaste for cuddling, especially after sex.
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As important the touching and physical sensations are for my sex life, dirty talk has made my orgasms feel more complete. And now, I’m a better lover because I know how to communicate exactly what I want. In the months I dated Paul, he pulled from me bits and pieces and implanted thoughts that had never crossed my mind.
- We had some of the most connected and amazing sex this morning that we have had since our youngest was born almost 10 months ago.
- I have tried explaining that I need some peace and space in the very same way that they need snuggling and the like, to wind down and recenter myself, but I never seem to get through.
- Once I was able to harness my ability to talk dirty in bed, I never looked back.
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I have felt this way hooking up in the past, which makes some sense because being alone with a stranger is probably inherently awkward, but even with my spouse, whom I love deeply, I can’t seem to feel relaxed. I have no trauma that might be the root of this feeling, and I am generally very comfortable with my spouse. After sex, I just want some space and air, which doesn’t seem like it should be too much to ask, but if I try to extricate myself, my spouse gets upset. I have tried explaining that I need some peace and space in the very same way that they need snuggling and the like, to wind down and recenter myself, but I never seem to get through.
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Before, Harris spoke how “everything is in context,” and about her mother used to give her a hard time, before saying the phrase. But what does the Harris’ “coconut tree” quote mean, and why has it become a meme? “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.” I’ve been with my boyfriend “Todd” for five years. But we live in an apartment that’s really too small for the two of us and our pet rabbits Binky and Winky.
We let them roam around the place pretty freely, because like I said, there isn’t a lot of space even if we don’t restrict it any. But that means the rabbits have occasionally been in the bedroom when we’ve had sex. The past question that you reference was specifically regarding BDSM, which often is practiced with written/verbal agreements detailed beforehand. Aftercare is generally part of the protocol. Perhaps the same should be so for other forms of sex, including the vanilla variety, but it isn’t as widely practiced there.